mga ti**

those past days is makaharangit talaga.napakulba ngan makaarawod. i am not talking about school activities but those chaka girls(girls p) na di man ha pagkahambog, but kept disturbing me. the one, sent messages. others, call me and were asking my e’add..i ignored them.kay ano ba hira nagsisinugad? h akon pagud? tsk. yana lugod, mas dumuroy an ak hadlok ha mga sugad ha ira. but may ada geap something na nangayri within me. it was like, i am starting to like being like them, too. i once told my bestfriend about that. i told him that i am attracted to beautiful girls but he became worried..haha..yes, it’s true.but it’s not that i want to be her partner. i just attract and admire those beautiful girls and wish to myself na sana sugad geap ak..amu la..anu b..na.admire liwat ak ha iba na tomboy na mahusay kay bisan hira tomboy, mahusay la geap, ngan gwapo pa. astig..sugad kan Amber of f(x)..omG!i admire them in the way they act to boys. they can defend their selves from them and be like them instead nga magpinikat-pikat sugad ha iba liwat nga nagpapakhusay nga mga girls na duru-duro na it make-up nga eewness..ah, basta..pero ha mga alams na nga may karelasyon na same like them, makulba ngan diri na maupay na istorya.di na ito pwede. it is okay to act like a boy but not getting in a relationship n parehas kamo hit sex.

ha mga alams n nga naka-boy cut ngan diri man ngani gwapo kun magsinugad hira, makaharadlok talaga.lalo na kun it siplat ha im, malaom-laom.jowk.kun as in baga’t matu2naw ka na.

i regret

the time you do it, you don’t think of other things thAn just the two of you filled with love for eAch other. you don’t think thAt whAt you Are doing is wrong. you think thAt wAs right. but After the time you feel exhAust, After the time those things cAme out from your body, you’ll reAlize your mistAke. then nervousness Are getting in your veins. you Are finAlly Anxious And worried if whAtever result mAy possibly hAppen. now, you look for wAys thAt you think will help the both of you.you go to downtown to look for the “things”. you seArch on the internet on whAt Are the possible Actions will mAke. you should hAve “it” less thAn 72 hours or else, future is your concern now. you regret whAt wAs in the pAst. only GOD knows whAt will be hAppening. whAt will be your destiny. but I hope it will not. i still wAnt to Attend the Field trip, the CheerdAnce competition, meetings in our orgAnizations, speech choir, other competitions in school, the JS prom, the Senior’s bAll And especiAlly, the GRADUATION. think of these, then you’ll finAlly come to know you’re in big despAir.

the uncovered secret of this girl nAmed “strAnger”

todAy, June 15, 2009, MondAy..i borrowed her notebook. i turned to the middle pAges of her notebook And found out thAt this notebook is not only her lecture notebook but Also her own “diAry”. yes, it’s wrong to tAmper other’s privAte property but i cAn’t control not to reAd her diAry.

i went to A sAfe plAce.stArted turning the pAges And reAd. WTF!secrets now reveAled. i cAn’t believe it. strAnger is mAd At us..mAd At this controversiAl group i belong. until this time?!how come? we never hAte her. we never hurt her. why mAd?! she described us As BITCHES..do you know whAt thAt meAns?how dAre her. but no, i’m not mAd At her. confused, insteAd.

i got goosebumps when i finAlly reAd the shocking pArt on her diAry..i hurt her feelings “dAw” i even don’t know. she is hurt when she hAve known thAt i hAve A crush on her crush And she hAs A crush on my speciAl friend. mAybe thAt’s the reAson she hAtes me.

there Are other things she wrote. negAtive opinions About my friends. bAd feelings towArds other people.

she still don’t know thAt i know. i meAn, we AlreAdy know. you know who you Are And if you Are reAding this, “i’m sorry.”.

PAra han tawo na nagpapalorong ha ak..(charrrr)

may paki-ana la ak ha imo..

tu-od ba ad2 an im text han una-unahan pa..han mga elementary p kita..n “_a__l”

nimo ak??

pamati ko d k na nakakahinumdum..

gus2 ko unta pahinumdumon ha imo kay baga ka na hin nangangalimot…takay,makaarawod man ngan bangin mo p ak pagtinawanon ngan mayakan ka nga feeler ak…

unta diri!kaupay nimo..imo la ak ginbinuwa-an..kun tu-od b ad2,,ky ano ray mo ginpanindigan hasta yana..

naasa bya ak had2 n ba2likon mo ako!

pero,petsa anu n?

meada k n ngean h iba..ray k man nagpasabot!!

maupay la tim is2rya h ak about h iya,pero d k man la naconsider tak gin-aabat..

d k la maaram n baga n ak ginle2chon had2 n im ginyakan n na-crush k liwat h iya..

ray k man la magpaki-ana about h ak..??

ray k n man la nag-explain kun ano ba ad2 an im text h akon!!!napali-ana k p gud kun hi mama  it nakapot tak celfon ky meada k igyayakan…Boomm..amo n ad2..amo n an tym nga pirmi nla ak ginhahagkot!!!!

nkaintindi k??

baltok k man ada??

alayon gad la pag-is2rya kun ano ba ad2 an meaning??kun jowk la ad2 nga text??kun sincere k b had2??

ano n??

tCcic

love…^_^

Love?love?love?? love is blind. love is like a rosary that full of mystery.love is like a chewing gum that sticks to ur heart. love at first sight.war makes love.the more you hate the more you love.love comes once in a vlue moon..whatever description, whatever meaning comes about love..one thing is sure,,first love never dies(4 me).that’s what i believe in.because this guy who made me once crazy, once in my life, this guy who came in my childhood lyf, still,now we’re alredy highschool, he is the only one whom my heart speaks the name “___s”…even, years have passed by, he is always the one who blows my mind, he is the only reason i couldn’t sleep at nights because of dreaming awake about him that what if he is already mine, where we are the only two people in a paradise to feel each other’s caress..

whatever try to forget him,,i can’t do it..it even doesn’t give an effect..but the longer i am carrying this feelings only 4 him,,the more i am hurt because of many reasons that bugs me, that bothers me while days pass by, while i’m growng older, while our age gives a large gap..??huh?oh,no,no..dAT’s not the point..bAsta..!!i act as if i’m not hurt while he tells me about his crush,that he is hurt that his crush has another crush..(hmmm..getz)..imagine??that hurts, you know..

help me Lord to forget him coz i don’t like this flame to totally roast my heart…but wait..could You please tell him that I LOVE HIM??

get out of my mind..get out of my heart

get out of my mind..get out of my heart

enlightened…and a new inspiration

Friday afternoon, no classes…i spent the whole afternoon in our room 128 with my group mates in the science investigatory project. Many quite bad small things happened that irritated me..but,oh never mind that. Thank God, I didn’t burst.

My best friend went to our room with her classmates, too. Well, our sections both use room 128. We use the room in afternoon during classes, while they use it every morning. we talked and decided to get some snack. We ate those snacks on the stairs outside the room. We talked about nonsense things, until she mentioned about our ex-classmate(boy) now studying in EVSU who,she told, went in our school sometime ago. It was like a lightning when the idea stroke inside my mind that I told Annabelle, we should go to his school. Actually, my objective is not because i wanted to meet my boy ex-classmate, but to have fun again with my long-time best friend, Rutchea, who is also studying in the same school.

Hurriedly, Annabelle got up. And me, too. I don’t know what Annabelle was thinking, why she got up so fast after hearing those magical words, but maybe I guess, she wanted to see our ex-classmate(boy). We got our bags, and started walking towards the school. It was tiring, but fun. When we arrived, we didn’t know what to do, and how we can get in the school. We started thinking what lies we will say to the guard. But when we saw our ex-classmate talking with somebody, we started to become wild. No, you’re thinking wrong. We’re afraid maybe he would see us, and talk with us. And then we hide, laughing. And after some minutes, our ex-classmate got inside a van. So, booGsh, we exhaled.

how lucky are we, our schoolmate passed by, and she was going to get in because she wanted to meet his father working in EVSU. And yes, we accompanied her. At last, we’re inside the school. And Rutchea and some Rizalians met each other with us. We talked for a while. It was getting late and they told that they’re going again to the TCC. Annabelle and I didn’t know whatwas the next move, so we’ve decided forcefully(in our hearts) to go with them, even we though that visiting again at the church will get us bored.

We we’re with Rutchea, Cherrylou, and their other schoolmates, and classmates. We walked again, and my legs we’re getting red. Haaaay, finally we arrived. At first i was shy(slight) because i was seeing different people with different nationalities. and i was conscious.

Rutchea told us that there will be a film showing. and guess what?? the show entitled:”Kung Fu Panda”. I know Annabelle, was already bored and like wanted to get out. The show have finally started, and Annabelle, called me, showing his finger then made a question mark sign, smiling slightly. I also smiled, but was nervous, maybe some people inside the church, saw what Annabelle did. For the introduction, a band played a Christian song. but then, my eyes was magnetted(is that a correct term?) by a cute bishounen chinese-looking guy, playing one of the instrument(sorry, very confidential). I then asked Rutchea what is his name, and told me, “a royal one”. His name fits him. Throughout the night, the guy was only i was thinking of. I laways think of his cute smile then his eyes. But how sad, when Rutchea told me, he was just 13, I melted like an ice cream, exposed to sun. Words went in my mind, like”Sayang”, “age doesn’t matter”, “I hope we’ll get know each other”, “Langit siya, lupa ako”, “Siya na nga kaya”,”ah..basta”..Annabelle, Rutchea and I sat in the second row..Guess what?? he was sitting behind me.(kilig to the bones…joke)

After, the show, we divided into groups, formed a circle, then,we shared ideas what we have learned from the movie..and, yes,i learned many things, that enlightened me. Words that hit my heart gently…”Past is history, Future is mystery, and Today is a gift why it is called present.” From the ideas of new acquaintances and also from my own words, for me, this means that past is history, because you do not have the power to change anything from it, you cannot undo what things or mistakes you committed from that time, and you should look forward for the future. Next, future is a mystery, clearly, because, you don’t know what is your destiny, you don’t know what will happen to you, and the people around you. maybe, it’s the end of your time. Lastly but not the least, Present is the gift, because, thank God, he has given us another chance to live, another chance to correct the bad things we have done in the past, and the chance to change, for that special day. He has given us another day to spend happily with our loved ones, and that’s why it’s called present.

The show ended at 8:30, and i was happy. I then again looked for my crush, but sorry, because i didn’t find him. The woman in the church, told us to come back next friday. Yehey, another day to meet my prince.

..he was my friend’s first love…

,i never think n ma-iinlove talaga hiya n as in to the highest level, and classmate ko pa siya..She is a good friend of mine, and na-hurt pala siya dahil sa crush ko…my classmate(girl friend) tells me the whole story about him, how he  let her fell deeply in love with him, and he actually made it, as she tells us. Those times during the second year hs, those times when, he was only the one who looks at her in the eyes, like trying to let her know that he likes her..

He was the only one who was in her dreams..she can’t sleep well because all  she thinks is him throughout the night.  She asked advices to her friends and to GOD what is she going to do, .if she will tell the guy that she likes him, too or if she will confront him ask everything why he always do those things or let him stop “like-courting”??

She made signs, which will signal and help her if he’s the right man. And again, he made it..and the day came, like she thought the  very best day which She was then decided to talk or ask him what those sweet times she had with him,what were meant by those, but too late to know, that all what my crush had done to her, were all fake or maybe the reasons why he did those things to my friend, is because he wants to  be in love with her  so he will forget what was his feelings for the other girl, and she cried…heartbroken.

Now, she wants to move on, but still finding it hard.

While she tells me the story, i can feel the hurt that is still fresh in her hearts, i can see it through her watery eyes.

And now, i think, who is also the man in my dreams, is a heart-broker and be careful what he acts…if like he was trying to fall in love with you, like what i am feeling..and i’m still confused.

Kpoy n…

,grabe ini nga month…dMo it bad happenings n nangyari h ak…here’s the list

1. 3 checks l ada an ak p.t h math.
2. nagkasakit ak.
3. absent ak 4 3 days.
4. gn-uubo l ghap ak till now…i h8 it..i’m like a dog..hehehe
5. insecure
6. quiet ak pirmi.
7. maraksot it topic hit akon rreport h mapeh…grabe,panlalaki..
8. damo an ak wrong han p.t. h physics…noSebleed
9. d n niya ak gnppncn
10. rai p ak mg-take unit test h Physics….

sEe?? kYa mu yan….?? i can’t take it n..mPatay n ak..i’m pressured..GOD help me…

hiDing in the Dark room

,as i lay myself in bed, and is about to sleep…i can’t help but cry..thinking if he’s okay..if he is comfortable where he sleeps..i can’t even tell them, that i am very sad because he’s not here..i act as if i didn’t care about him, i don’t even tell that i already miss him very much and say “i love you” to him..
they find me as “not-drama”..thinking i’m tough in the inside..so i hate to cry infront of them..

i always pray above, hoping for his comeback,,his stay with us again, and feel the completion.. i know, even he doesnt tell us what is his emotions, every night,.i can feel his tears as my tears roll down my face (and wet my hair..)

i h8 mAh lyf

,i don’t knw whAt shOuld i do, 4 this gReat chllenge i aM faCing to.. why i was born in a family that only depends others??

we still live because of them..and we’re very thankful to that…follow them even it hurts you..don’t disagree or else suffering will be the gift..

pinanganak lng akong mhirap..pero dhil s knila,,nbu2hay p ang aking pamilya..
utang n loob namin s knila ang lhat ng ito..

sna kmi ay buo..sna cla’y my mgndang trabaho,,pra wla akong pangamba..wlang kinakatakutan..hindi n sna aq dapat lumayo,,pra sundin lmang ang gusto nilang akala’y mkktulong s akn..

s ngbbsa nito..lam ko’y kayo nali2to..pero kelangan kong not to reveal names and clarify things..it’s confidential